1
00:00:02,101 --> 00:00:05,901
This programme contains violent
scenes and images of the deceased

2
00:00:05,941 --> 00:00:08,381
that viewers may find distressing
from the very start,

3
00:00:08,421 --> 00:00:10,941
strong language, offensive and
discriminatory attitudes,

4
00:00:10,981 --> 00:00:13,221
and scenes of a sexual nature
throughout

5
00:00:13,261 --> 00:00:14,581
SIRENS

6
00:00:15,821 --> 00:00:17,421
WOMAN WAILS

7
00:00:21,541 --> 00:00:22,701
POLICE RADIO CHATTER

8
00:00:29,341 --> 00:00:31,981
ECHOING: You! You murderer!

9
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,021
This isn't murder.

10
00:00:39,621 --> 00:00:41,541
It's an execution.

11
00:00:50,861 --> 00:00:52,621
TAPE REWINDS

12
00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:54,621
SINGING


13
00:00:54,661 --> 00:00:57,221

in love with someone

14
00:00:57,261 --> 00:00:58,701


15
00:00:58,741 --> 00:01:01,541

shouldn't've fallen in love with

16
00:01:06,861 --> 00:01:11,061

shouldn't've fallen in love with.

17
00:01:11,101 --> 00:01:13,461
Yeah! Woo!
Yes, Clive.

18
00:01:13,501 --> 00:01:15,941
Come on, Clive!
HE LAUGHS

19
00:01:17,821 --> 00:01:20,101
RADIO
MUSIC: Ever Fallen In Love
by Buzzcocks

20
00:02:09,941 --> 00:02:12,741
Excuse me, I'm looking for Connor.

21
00:02:12,781 --> 00:02:14,381
I think he's up on the roof.

22
00:02:14,421 --> 00:02:16,701
On the Bishop Street side.

23
00:02:16,741 --> 00:02:18,061
Thanks...

24
00:02:18,101 --> 00:02:19,381
..Rajesh.

25
00:02:19,421 --> 00:02:20,541
Cheers.

26
00:02:30,181 --> 00:02:31,781
WORKMEN CHATTER

27
00:02:37,181 --> 00:02:39,181
How'd you get in?
I was just passing.

28
00:02:39,221 --> 00:02:40,341
How's it going?

29
00:02:40,381 --> 00:02:43,101
You're passing ten floors up.
How's that happen?

30
00:02:43,141 --> 00:02:44,701
There's no jobs, Clive,
I've got nothing.

31
00:02:44,741 --> 00:02:46,741
Yeah, I was just wondering, cos,
you know, I find myself free,

32
00:02:46,781 --> 00:02:48,381
so I thought I'd offer.
No, don't need you.

33
00:02:48,421 --> 00:02:50,261
I can do anything.

34
00:02:50,301 --> 00:02:52,581
Where's that lad that used
to work for you, Francis?

35
00:02:52,621 --> 00:02:53,741
Where's he now?

36
00:02:53,781 --> 00:02:54,901
I got rid of him.

37
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:56,101
I'll tell you where he is.

38
00:02:56,141 --> 00:02:57,141
He's working for Ashbury's.

39
00:02:57,181 --> 00:02:59,261
And do you know what? He's happy.

40
00:02:59,301 --> 00:03:00,821
Proper little smiler, he is.

41
00:03:00,861 --> 00:03:03,381
Not when he was with you.
He was miserable as sin,

42
00:03:03,421 --> 00:03:04,901
cos you bullied him, night and day.

43
00:03:04,941 --> 00:03:06,861
He was useless.
He was good, Clive.

44
00:03:06,901 --> 00:03:08,381
You stamped on him.

45
00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:09,661
So, no, I don't have any jobs,

46
00:03:09,701 --> 00:03:10,861
cos no one likes working with you.

47
00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:13,181
You're a fucking misery,
truth be told.

48
00:03:13,221 --> 00:03:14,341
You'll employ Rajesh.

49
00:03:14,381 --> 00:03:15,541
Yes, I will.

50
00:03:15,581 --> 00:03:16,821
What's wrong with him?

51
00:03:18,901 --> 00:03:20,981
Just...work's a bit short,
so if you hear of anything, I...

52
00:03:21,021 --> 00:03:22,261
I won't.
Well, if you do...

53
00:03:22,301 --> 00:03:24,781
I won't!
But there is something.

54
00:03:24,821 --> 00:03:27,141
You can tell your lot I said thanks.

55
00:03:27,181 --> 00:03:29,221
What do you mean?
I've been going sites like these

56
00:03:29,261 --> 00:03:32,581
since I was 16 years old,
and I saved, Clive.

57
00:03:32,621 --> 00:03:34,381
Saved like a dog
right from the start,

58
00:03:34,421 --> 00:03:36,461
cos I thought,
"I'd like a nice life one day."

59
00:03:36,501 --> 00:03:38,141
Just me and the missus,
nice little life.

60
00:03:38,181 --> 00:03:40,541
And I got one.
Tiny little farmhouse.

61
00:03:40,581 --> 00:03:42,701
It's a wreck, but I done it up.

62
00:03:42,741 --> 00:03:45,061
Ten years it took me,
now it's all done.

63
00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:47,461
My retirement, all set up.

64
00:03:47,501 --> 00:03:50,741
Except I can go there
for 90 days. That's all.

65
00:03:50,781 --> 00:03:52,901
Just 90 sodding days,

66
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,701
cos it's in France, isn't it?

67
00:03:54,741 --> 00:03:57,861
90 days and I've gotta go home,
thanks to your lot.

68
00:03:57,901 --> 00:04:00,901
Now I'm voting leave, for you.

69
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,661
Piss off, Clive.

70
00:04:36,501 --> 00:04:38,821
I can pay you 120 a day.

71
00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:40,221
I can do bar work for that.

72
00:04:40,261 --> 00:04:41,581
Yeah, but I'm paying two wages.

73
00:04:41,621 --> 00:04:43,701
Sick pay for Bugs,
and now his replacement.

74
00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:45,581
I can give you six days,
and that's it.

75
00:04:57,581 --> 00:04:58,701
SOFT CHATTER

76
00:04:59,981 --> 00:05:01,581
THEY LAUGH

77
00:05:04,421 --> 00:05:07,221
Um, do you mind
not eating in the hall?

78
00:05:07,261 --> 00:05:09,541
Eh? It's like a doss house.

79
00:05:09,581 --> 00:05:12,301
Some of us have got to live here.

80
00:05:12,341 --> 00:05:15,141
Are you gonna be turning
the electric off again?

81
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:17,461
You should've got a letter.
I did, and I read it,

82
00:05:17,501 --> 00:05:20,581
and it was a photocopy,
it wasn't specific to this place,

83
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,861
so I don't trust you for a second.

84
00:05:27,141 --> 00:05:28,301
Diane.

85
00:05:29,901 --> 00:05:31,261
Flat five.

86
00:05:33,821 --> 00:05:36,021
Clive.

87
00:05:36,061 --> 00:05:37,421
See you, Clive.

88
00:05:47,541 --> 00:05:49,141
TV: This roll?

89
00:05:49,181 --> 00:05:51,781
Please, stop! Stop, stop!

90
00:05:51,821 --> 00:05:52,861
Yes!

91
00:05:58,461 --> 00:06:01,301
Right, your second go. Good luck.

92
00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:05,101
Liz... Liz.

93
00:06:15,661 --> 00:06:17,541
That's what I like to see.

94
00:06:17,581 --> 00:06:18,981
Hard at work.

95
00:06:20,861 --> 00:06:22,821
Where's your...your little mates?

96
00:06:22,861 --> 00:06:24,661
Oh, you know what it's like,
same old story.

97
00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:27,621
New job across town,
and off they go.

98
00:06:27,661 --> 00:06:29,861
If I was in charge,
I wouldn't allow it.

99
00:06:29,901 --> 00:06:32,501
Oh, so you're not the boss, then?

100
00:06:32,541 --> 00:06:35,461
HE LAUGHS.
No, not me, no.

101
00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:38,661
If I was running this,
it'd be finished by now.

102
00:06:38,701 --> 00:06:40,381
Well...

103
00:06:40,421 --> 00:06:43,021
..that would be a shame.

104
00:06:43,061 --> 00:06:45,861
So, packed his stuff,
chucked him out.

105
00:06:45,901 --> 00:06:47,141
That wasn't the end of it, though,

106
00:06:47,181 --> 00:06:49,181
because he'd left
all these bills unpaid.

107
00:06:49,221 --> 00:06:50,581
I found them!

108
00:06:50,621 --> 00:06:52,781
He'd stuffed them away,

109
00:06:52,821 --> 00:06:54,341
hidden them, like a squirrel.

110
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,501
There was council tax, electricity,

111
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,341
some of them going back months.

112
00:06:58,381 --> 00:07:00,341
I said, "What's all this?"

113
00:07:00,381 --> 00:07:02,301
He said, "I just panic."

114
00:07:02,341 --> 00:07:04,381
I said, "What do you mean, you just
panic?"

115
00:07:04,421 --> 00:07:06,821
He said, "It's me dyslexia."

116
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,341
Oh, God, I bet, yeah.

117
00:07:08,381 --> 00:07:10,461
That's just a bloody excuse,
isn't it?

118
00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:11,661
That's what I said!

119
00:07:11,701 --> 00:07:13,461
You know,
there's no such thing as dyslexia.

120
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,621
Oh, my God,
that's exactly what I said!

121
00:07:15,661 --> 00:07:17,061
I've been saying that
to him for years.

122
00:07:17,101 --> 00:07:19,901
It's just a fraud. You know, it's,
like, this billion-dollar industry.

123
00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:23,181
Oh, my God, you are like
a voice in the wilderness.

124
00:07:23,221 --> 00:07:26,181
This is too good to be true.

125
00:07:26,221 --> 00:07:29,181
Come on, tell me,
is there a Mrs Clive?

126
00:07:29,221 --> 00:07:31,741
Eh?
Because there is, isn't there?

127
00:07:31,781 --> 00:07:32,941
Yeah, yeah.

128
00:07:32,981 --> 00:07:34,141
Marie.

129
00:07:34,181 --> 00:07:36,341
Been married 24 years.

130
00:07:36,381 --> 00:07:38,901
Two boys, Saul and George.

131
00:07:38,941 --> 00:07:40,141
Old-fashioned names.

132
00:07:40,181 --> 00:07:42,421
Yeah.

133
00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:45,981
And how are you, you and Marie?

134
00:07:46,021 --> 00:07:47,341
Yeah, we're OK.

135
00:07:48,581 --> 00:07:52,221
You know,
both a bit knackered, but...

136
00:07:53,301 --> 00:07:54,501
..I'm in the bad books.

137
00:07:56,261 --> 00:07:58,941
You know,
I have been for a very long time.

138
00:08:02,061 --> 00:08:03,221
Why?

139
00:08:08,981 --> 00:08:11,941
Go easy, it costs me enough.

140
00:08:11,981 --> 00:08:13,181
Oh...

141
00:08:13,221 --> 00:08:16,061
I just, just made a mistake,
you know?

142
00:08:16,101 --> 00:08:18,061
So, we went on
holiday to Scarborough,

143
00:08:18,101 --> 00:08:20,461
to this, caravan park.

144
00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:23,261
And there was this woman,

145
00:08:23,301 --> 00:08:25,501
cos they had this restaurant,

146
00:08:25,541 --> 00:08:28,341
well, it was, like, a cafe thing,
and she worked there.

147
00:08:28,381 --> 00:08:29,981
Patricia. Patricia.

148
00:08:30,021 --> 00:08:33,101
Yeah, listen, it had just been a
long time since anyone fancied me,

149
00:08:33,141 --> 00:08:35,541
and Patricia, she was, like,
she was looking, you know?

150
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:38,221
And I kinda, well,
to be fair, I was puzzled.

151
00:08:38,261 --> 00:08:40,461
Get to the point.
Well, I slept with her.

152
00:08:44,461 --> 00:08:49,341
And just one night,
they had this barbecue, and...

153
00:08:49,381 --> 00:08:51,621
..Marie...found out.

154
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:55,101
And kaboom, you know, that was it.

155
00:08:55,141 --> 00:08:56,581
Never forgiven.

156
00:08:56,621 --> 00:08:57,861
To this day.

157
00:08:57,901 --> 00:08:59,861
And I mean never, ever forgiven.

158
00:08:59,901 --> 00:09:01,941
I mean never.

159
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:08,341
And I've paid the price for
that to this sodding day, I have.

160
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,781
How did she find out?

161
00:09:10,821 --> 00:09:14,061
Um, well, I told her.

162
00:09:14,101 --> 00:09:17,861
Well, what did you do that for?

163
00:09:17,901 --> 00:09:20,301
I've learnt my lesson now,
haven't I?

164
00:09:22,381 --> 00:09:23,981
So, you won't tell her next time?

165
00:09:27,581 --> 00:09:28,901
No.

166
00:09:32,741 --> 00:09:35,181
There's a little Italian,
Barlow Moor Road.

167
00:09:35,221 --> 00:09:39,021
Friday night,
they do two courses for 15 quid.

168
00:09:39,061 --> 00:09:40,381
Fancy it?

169
00:10:00,381 --> 00:10:02,461
Right, I'm off.
Tell Stewart I said hello.

170
00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:08,861
MUSIC PICKS UP

171
00:10:11,581 --> 00:10:12,781
Hey.

172
00:10:50,061 --> 00:10:51,261
Clive, yeah?

173
00:10:53,421 --> 00:10:54,821
All right, down here.

174
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,581
LADY SPEAKS ON SPEAKER PHONE

175
00:11:03,861 --> 00:11:05,341
THEY SPEAK IN THEIR LANGUAGE

176
00:11:08,021 --> 00:11:10,021
Oh, you don't mind, do you?

177
00:11:10,061 --> 00:11:11,181
No, go for it.

178
00:11:11,221 --> 00:11:13,661
Yeah. It's my girlfriend.
HE LAUGHS

179
00:11:13,701 --> 00:11:16,381
She's got a new job.
She's very excited.

180
00:11:16,421 --> 00:11:20,821
THEY SPEAK IN THEIR LANGUAGE

181
00:11:22,821 --> 00:11:24,621
WOMAN IN ENGLISH: Oh, thank you.

182
00:11:24,661 --> 00:11:26,581
She says thanks.
HE LAUGHS

183
00:11:26,621 --> 00:11:28,381
THEY SPEAK IN THEIR LANGUAGE

184
00:11:53,821 --> 00:11:55,181
CONVERSATION FADES

185
00:12:40,541 --> 00:12:41,861
We're not allowed to take tips.

186
00:12:41,901 --> 00:12:43,141
Buy her something.

187
00:12:44,901 --> 00:12:46,461
Thank you very much.

188
00:12:48,861 --> 00:12:53,101
PHONE: Oh, that's so nice of him.
Thank you!

189
00:12:53,141 --> 00:12:54,501
Yeah, nice guy, ain't he?

190
00:13:01,501 --> 00:13:03,021
LAUGHTER

191
00:13:08,301 --> 00:13:10,981
Well, you didn't stand me up.

192
00:13:11,021 --> 00:13:12,021
That's a good sign.

193
00:13:13,621 --> 00:13:16,021
You look smart.

194
00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:18,141
I was gonna make a
bit more of an effort,

195
00:13:18,181 --> 00:13:21,181
but, Christine phoned
just as I got in and I said,

196
00:13:21,221 --> 00:13:22,781
"Not now, Christine,"
but she wouldn't stop.

197
00:13:22,821 --> 00:13:26,381
Right, cos I wanted to say,

198
00:13:26,421 --> 00:13:30,821
I think I should make it clear
that there's not gonna be any sex,

199
00:13:30,861 --> 00:13:33,141
you know, so...

200
00:13:33,181 --> 00:13:35,061
Who said there was?
No one.

201
00:13:35,101 --> 00:13:37,381
There's not.
Let me sit down, for fuck's sake.

202
00:13:43,461 --> 00:13:45,901
I just think I should explain.

203
00:13:45,941 --> 00:13:49,781
Um, because with Patricia, that was
the woman in the caravan park.

204
00:13:49,821 --> 00:13:51,141
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know who she is.

205
00:13:51,181 --> 00:13:52,901
Yeah, well, I didn't sleep with
her.

206
00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,501
OK. I mean, there was a moment,
you know.

207
00:13:58,541 --> 00:14:01,301
I mean, she was...she was looking,
all the time.

208
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,741
I mean, Marie noticed, she said,

209
00:14:02,781 --> 00:14:04,421
"Look, she's looking," and,

210
00:14:04,461 --> 00:14:05,821
and there was this
big barbecue thing,

211
00:14:05,861 --> 00:14:07,101
but I didn't...

212
00:14:07,141 --> 00:14:10,101
Nothing happened, we...

213
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,901
..did not.

214
00:14:12,941 --> 00:14:14,901
And what do you want, eh? A medal?

215
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,261
I just think you should know,
that's all.

216
00:14:17,301 --> 00:14:18,661
Then why did you say you did?

217
00:14:22,981 --> 00:14:25,581
Because it would make her cross.

218
00:14:25,621 --> 00:14:26,621
Who?
Marie.

219
00:14:26,661 --> 00:14:27,821
Your wife?
Yeah.

220
00:14:27,861 --> 00:14:28,861
Hang on.

221
00:14:29,941 --> 00:14:32,461
You didn't just tell me
you slept with Patricia,

222
00:14:32,501 --> 00:14:35,981
you told your wife you slept
with Patricia, when you didn't.

223
00:14:36,021 --> 00:14:38,301
Yeah.
So, you made it all up?

224
00:14:38,341 --> 00:14:40,821
You lied to your wife?
For how long?

225
00:14:40,861 --> 00:14:44,141
Well, you know, six years.

226
00:14:44,181 --> 00:14:47,821
She's been punishing you
for six years for nothing?

227
00:14:49,261 --> 00:14:50,301
Does she know now?

228
00:14:50,341 --> 00:14:52,581
Have you told her?
Does she know the truth?

229
00:14:52,621 --> 00:14:53,741
No.

230
00:14:53,781 --> 00:14:55,861
Jesus Christ, Clive.

231
00:14:55,901 --> 00:14:58,021
I mean, Jesus Christ.

232
00:14:58,061 --> 00:15:00,141
Why did you lie in the first place?

233
00:15:00,181 --> 00:15:02,941
Because...

234
00:15:02,981 --> 00:15:07,301
I thought it would
make me look, um...

235
00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:08,461
What?

236
00:15:11,701 --> 00:15:12,821
Sexy.

237
00:15:23,341 --> 00:15:26,941
Well, I will say,

238
00:15:26,981 --> 00:15:30,101
it was the most
interesting thing about you.

239
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:33,101
Don't say anything.

240
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:36,261
Don't make a fuss.

241
00:15:36,301 --> 00:15:37,541
Don't do that to me.

242
00:16:34,701 --> 00:16:37,181
So, what happened?

243
00:16:37,221 --> 00:16:39,781
Just, nothing much.

244
00:16:41,581 --> 00:16:44,301
Stewart's really boring
since he got that job and,

245
00:16:44,341 --> 00:16:46,021
Brody's got work tomorrow, so...

246
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:50,541
Where are the boys?

247
00:16:50,581 --> 00:16:54,301
Out.

248
00:16:54,341 --> 00:16:55,981
Still?

249
00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:01,101
Friday night.

250
00:17:20,741 --> 00:17:21,981
I was thinking, the boys...

251
00:17:23,661 --> 00:17:25,981
We said we'd wait 'til they were old
enough and then split up,

252
00:17:26,021 --> 00:17:28,501
but it's not gonna work, is it?

253
00:17:28,541 --> 00:17:30,701
We can't afford it, Clive.

254
00:17:30,741 --> 00:17:33,301
Either I leave, or you leave,

255
00:17:33,341 --> 00:17:36,341
and I can't afford a flat, can you?

256
00:17:36,381 --> 00:17:38,261
I'm trying to get more work,
aren't I?

257
00:17:38,301 --> 00:17:39,941
I'm not having a go.

258
00:17:39,981 --> 00:17:41,141
Then what?

259
00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:49,501
Well, it could be years till
the boys leave home.

260
00:17:49,541 --> 00:17:50,781
Saul's showing no sign,

261
00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:52,701
and even if George goes
to university,

262
00:17:52,741 --> 00:17:57,461
they go, and then they come back.
That's what happens these days.

263
00:17:57,501 --> 00:17:59,901
So?

264
00:17:59,941 --> 00:18:06,621
So, I'm saying that we stay like
this, living here, it's not so bad.

265
00:18:08,661 --> 00:18:11,021
Well, I don't think it's bad at all.

266
00:18:14,501 --> 00:18:16,981
Well, it is,
if you don't mind my saying so.

267
00:18:18,981 --> 00:18:21,581
But if we accept it,
and all right, yes,

268
00:18:21,621 --> 00:18:26,541
OK, I will stop having
a go at you, then we'd be OK.

269
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:30,541
We could stop pretending.

270
00:18:32,381 --> 00:18:33,781
At what?

271
00:18:36,341 --> 00:18:37,981
This.

272
00:18:38,021 --> 00:18:40,261
We could stop this.

273
00:18:43,061 --> 00:18:44,341
OK. Yeah.

274
00:18:45,901 --> 00:18:47,221
It's about time.

275
00:18:47,261 --> 00:18:48,461
Is it?

276
00:18:48,501 --> 00:18:50,381
I don't need it, I'm fine.

277
00:18:52,221 --> 00:18:55,421
And I know men like
to have their little bit of fun,

278
00:18:55,461 --> 00:18:57,901
God knows you're proof of that,

279
00:18:57,941 --> 00:18:59,701
but you could finish yourself off.

280
00:18:59,741 --> 00:19:01,621
You do it anyway.

281
00:19:01,661 --> 00:19:03,181
If you're 20 minutes in
the bathroom,

282
00:19:03,221 --> 00:19:04,821
the boys say you're having a wank.

283
00:19:04,861 --> 00:19:06,501
Jesus. Well, aren't you?

284
00:19:06,541 --> 00:19:07,861
Marie.

285
00:19:11,341 --> 00:19:15,621
I just think it would help if
we stop planning

286
00:19:15,661 --> 00:19:18,061
for things that are never
gonna happen.

287
00:19:19,661 --> 00:19:21,661
Cos I dream of it, Clive.

288
00:19:23,221 --> 00:19:25,181
Little flat all on my own...

289
00:19:26,621 --> 00:19:28,261
..tiny little garden...

290
00:19:29,741 --> 00:19:31,861
..window in the sunlight

291
00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:34,501
so Mum can come and sit with me.

292
00:19:38,341 --> 00:19:39,861
it's never gonna happen, is it?

293
00:19:44,501 --> 00:19:47,461
So, what, we just stay like this
forever, do we?

294
00:19:53,781 --> 00:19:56,501
Well, one of us will die,
in the end.

295
00:21:02,981 --> 00:21:04,421
You in tonight?

296
00:21:04,461 --> 00:21:05,901
Fuck's it matter to you?

297
00:21:05,941 --> 00:21:07,101
All right, I'm just...

298
00:21:13,861 --> 00:21:15,261
How's your project?

299
00:21:15,301 --> 00:21:16,301
What project?

300
00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:19,181
American civil rights.
What grade did you get?

301
00:21:19,221 --> 00:21:22,221
Dunno. Well, you do know, come on.
What grade did you get?

302
00:21:23,461 --> 00:21:24,781
A B.

303
00:21:26,741 --> 00:21:29,541
Oh. Can't you work a bit harder?

304
00:21:29,581 --> 00:21:32,621
What did you get in school then?
No, go on. What grade did you get?

305
00:21:32,661 --> 00:21:36,821
All right. So, tell me about it.
About what?

306
00:21:36,861 --> 00:21:38,781
American civil rights.

307
00:21:38,821 --> 00:21:41,061
You're kidding.
Yeah, come on, educate me.

308
00:21:41,101 --> 00:21:42,101
What for?

309
00:21:42,141 --> 00:21:44,101
Cos I wanna know.
Yeah, but what for?

310
00:21:46,461 --> 00:21:48,021
Cos your mum thinks we should
talk more,

311
00:21:48,061 --> 00:21:50,021
but she doesn't see it -

312
00:21:53,661 --> 00:21:57,781
..fucking insolence on your face
when you talk to me.

313
00:21:57,821 --> 00:21:59,421
DOORBELL

314
00:22:06,621 --> 00:22:09,301
Aye, aye. Sorry, I know. I've locked
myself out.

315
00:22:09,341 --> 00:22:14,221
I was just putting something
in the bin and then, click.

316
00:22:14,261 --> 00:22:15,661
Go on, give us your key then.

317
00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:17,101
You said you had a spare key,

318
00:22:17,141 --> 00:22:18,901
you might as well give it to me,
mightn't you?

319
00:22:18,941 --> 00:22:20,581
What's your alarm code?

320
00:22:20,621 --> 00:22:23,101
Er, OK. 1502.

321
00:22:23,141 --> 00:22:26,661
1502. Remember George. 1502.

322
00:22:26,701 --> 00:22:28,581
God, he's got a nice life next door,

323
00:22:28,621 --> 00:22:30,661
hasn't he? Swanning around all
hours.

324
00:22:30,701 --> 00:22:32,021
What've you done now?

325
00:22:32,061 --> 00:22:33,341
His key. Like when his alarm went

326
00:22:33,381 --> 00:22:34,821
off last time when he was
on holiday,

327
00:22:34,861 --> 00:22:37,781
now we won't have to put up with it.

328
00:22:37,821 --> 00:22:39,181
What was it?

329
00:22:39,221 --> 00:22:41,141
1502. 1502.

330
00:22:42,421 --> 00:22:44,061
That's his alarm.

331
00:22:54,621 --> 00:22:56,981
DOOR SLAMS

332
00:24:37,981 --> 00:24:39,541
TV: They use titanium in the engine

333
00:24:39,581 --> 00:24:41,421
and the bonnet is carbon fibre,

334
00:24:41,461 --> 00:24:43,541
and the whole thing feels so light,

335
00:24:43,581 --> 00:24:45,541
it's like a stiff breeze could blow
it away,

336
00:24:45,581 --> 00:24:48,661
except it grips like crazy.

337
00:24:48,701 --> 00:24:50,941
The traction control is astonishing.

338
00:24:50,981 --> 00:24:53,261
It can detect wheelspin in
a microsecond.

339
00:24:53,301 --> 00:24:54,701
Less than a microsecond.

340
00:24:54,741 --> 00:24:57,661
It almost detects
a spin before it's even happened.

341
00:24:57,701 --> 00:25:01,021
I've never felt safer.
I've never felt more secure.

342
00:25:23,061 --> 00:25:25,461
What are you doing in his house?
George?

343
00:25:25,501 --> 00:25:27,181
Hey, answer me.
What are you doing in here?

344
00:25:27,221 --> 00:25:28,661
I said there was someone in this
house.

345
00:25:28,701 --> 00:25:30,181
I said so! He's been using the key.

346
00:25:30,221 --> 00:25:31,781
What do you mean?
Did you know he was here?

347
00:25:31,821 --> 00:25:33,581
Did I fuck! But I knew there was
someone in this house.

348
00:25:33,621 --> 00:25:34,701
He's been drinking my wine.

349
00:25:34,741 --> 00:25:36,101
The level on the wine goes down
every day.

350
00:25:36,141 --> 00:25:38,501
Why are you talking about wine?
What's wine got to do with it?

351
00:25:38,541 --> 00:25:40,981
No, you don't.
Don't try to get away with this.

352
00:25:41,021 --> 00:25:42,581
Don't you touch him?
He's in my house!

353
00:25:42,621 --> 00:25:43,821
Don't you fucking dare?

354
00:25:43,861 --> 00:25:45,221
HE'S IN MY HOUSE!

355
00:25:45,261 --> 00:25:49,701
I gave you my key,
which he's gone and stolen.

356
00:25:49,741 --> 00:25:51,101
Did you say he was in here every
day? Yeah.

357
00:25:51,141 --> 00:25:52,381
Drinking wine every single day?

358
00:25:52,421 --> 00:25:54,141
Yeah, and God knows what else,
because your son...

359
00:25:54,181 --> 00:25:55,421
Is he drinking wine with you?

360
00:25:56,741 --> 00:25:58,261
What?

361
00:25:58,301 --> 00:25:59,821
Fuck!

362
00:26:01,421 --> 00:26:02,981
George!

363
00:26:04,221 --> 00:26:06,741
George. Get here.

364
00:26:06,781 --> 00:26:08,301
Eh!

365
00:26:11,301 --> 00:26:12,941
Don't lock me out.

366
00:26:12,981 --> 00:26:17,461
Your son has been wanking
in my house.

367
00:26:17,501 --> 00:26:18,701
George!

368
00:26:22,301 --> 00:26:24,381
Oh, God! Don't kill him!

369
00:26:26,421 --> 00:26:29,981
Tell me,
what you doing in that man's house?

370
00:26:30,021 --> 00:26:32,101
What were you doing in his house?
Did he invite you in?

371
00:26:32,141 --> 00:26:34,261
What's that supposed to mean?
Did he invite you?

372
00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:35,421
BANGING ON DOOR

373
00:26:35,461 --> 00:26:36,941
Clive! Open the door!
Your boyfriend wants you.

374
00:26:36,981 --> 00:26:38,101
Don't be so stupid.

375
00:26:38,141 --> 00:26:39,461
Oh, I'm always the stupid one,
aren't I?

376
00:26:39,501 --> 00:26:40,821
Clive, open the door!

377
00:26:40,861 --> 00:26:41,941
BANGING CONTINUES

378
00:26:41,981 --> 00:26:44,021
Clive, open the door!

379
00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:47,301
God, you couldn't leave him
alone, eh?

380
00:26:47,341 --> 00:26:48,941
OK, this is all
a bit out of control.

381
00:26:48,981 --> 00:26:51,341
We can sort it out.
I just want to see George.

382
00:26:51,381 --> 00:26:53,581
I just want to talk him,
like adults, OK?

383
00:26:53,621 --> 00:26:56,061
And I want my key, because you
were in charge of it, Clive,

384
00:26:56,101 --> 00:26:57,381
and I want it back.

385
00:26:57,421 --> 00:26:58,621
I'm sorry, all right?

386
00:26:58,661 --> 00:27:00,421
George, don't you dare!

387
00:27:01,741 --> 00:27:03,901
Get here!

388
00:27:03,941 --> 00:27:07,661
Hey! George, get back here!

389
00:27:07,701 --> 00:27:08,861
Hey!

390
00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:14,461
You'll have to come back in
the end.

391
00:27:25,341 --> 00:27:27,581
He needs a bollocking,
because, you know,

392
00:27:27,621 --> 00:27:30,421
I mean, we all make mistakes,
but he has crossed a line here.

393
00:27:34,701 --> 00:27:36,861
What was he doing in your house?

394
00:27:36,901 --> 00:27:39,221
What was my boy doing in your house,

395
00:27:39,261 --> 00:27:41,141
for days and days?

396
00:27:42,301 --> 00:27:43,901
He's 16 years old.

397
00:27:43,941 --> 00:27:46,581
WOMAN'S VOICE: OK, see you later,
then. Bye.

398
00:27:51,981 --> 00:27:53,381
Your son George... Don't!

399
00:27:53,421 --> 00:27:57,261
Your son George stole my key
and waited till I left.

400
00:27:58,701 --> 00:28:00,781
Because if I knew he was there,

401
00:28:00,821 --> 00:28:06,061
why the fuck would I walk up
to my front door with you?

402
00:28:08,301 --> 00:28:09,741
No, no, no, no, no, wait.

403
00:28:09,781 --> 00:28:12,341
So he was breaking and entering,

404
00:28:12,381 --> 00:28:13,501
he stole things,

405
00:28:13,541 --> 00:28:16,621
he masturbated in front
of my television,

406
00:28:16,661 --> 00:28:18,421
and these are all on
the list of things I am telling

407
00:28:18,461 --> 00:28:21,381
the police,
including your assault of me.

408
00:28:22,861 --> 00:28:26,381
Because if you're gonna take on this
fucking poof...

409
00:28:31,581 --> 00:28:32,781
..don't you...

410
00:28:34,021 --> 00:28:36,021
..don't you say...

411
00:28:38,461 --> 00:28:40,501
Don't you ever!

412
00:28:50,661 --> 00:28:52,461
Jesus! Fuck!

413
00:28:52,501 --> 00:28:54,261
Aghhh!

414
00:28:54,301 --> 00:28:55,861
What?

415
00:28:55,901 --> 00:28:57,661
What...?

416
00:29:09,861 --> 00:29:13,621
Boss? Judy, tell Saul to pack his
stuff up and get out.

417
00:29:13,661 --> 00:29:16,621
You will not believe what his father
has just done!

418
00:29:16,661 --> 00:29:18,021
You're a beautiful lad, Saul,

419
00:29:18,061 --> 00:29:20,661
but I'm afraid you've gotta go.
And if you wanna know why,

420
00:29:20,701 --> 00:29:21,941
blame your mad old dad.

421
00:29:21,981 --> 00:29:24,221
No, you need to come home.
They said Dad went crazy.

422
00:29:24,261 --> 00:29:26,541
Like, George was in next
door's house.

423
00:29:26,581 --> 00:29:29,581
He broke in and he was stark naked.

424
00:29:29,621 --> 00:29:31,661
Bushra, I've got to go.
So, where's George now?

425
00:29:31,701 --> 00:29:33,341
I don't know, do I? I'm still here.

426
00:29:33,381 --> 00:29:35,181
He actually attacked you?

427
00:29:35,221 --> 00:29:36,941
Yeah.

428
00:29:36,981 --> 00:29:40,061
That is assault,
and you have to go to the police.

429
00:29:40,101 --> 00:29:43,461
I don't even have my car. I left it
in town. I'm stuck here.

430
00:29:43,501 --> 00:29:45,421
Can you come and drive me in?

431
00:29:45,461 --> 00:29:46,861
I'm coming.

432
00:29:48,821 --> 00:29:51,901
Somebody tell me...! What the hell?

433
00:29:51,941 --> 00:29:55,701
He's gonna call the police, because
you assaulted him, Clive!

434
00:29:55,741 --> 00:30:00,141
Him and snotty bitch Stephanie,
they're gonna call the police.

435
00:30:02,701 --> 00:30:06,941
MUFFLED ARGUMENT

436
00:30:32,581 --> 00:30:34,341
Cheers. Cheers.

437
00:30:34,381 --> 00:30:37,021
You should have a vodka in that.

438
00:30:37,061 --> 00:30:38,501
I've gotta take the car home.

439
00:30:38,541 --> 00:30:39,741
And I'm trying to stay alert.

440
00:30:39,781 --> 00:30:42,221
I have a thief living next door,
and a thug.

441
00:30:42,261 --> 00:30:44,981
Really, you should call the police
though. Really, really.

442
00:30:45,021 --> 00:30:47,781
I know, I know. You should. But,
like, I'm thinking of me. I mean,

443
00:30:47,821 --> 00:30:49,421
what if it got into the court?
I mean,

444
00:30:49,461 --> 00:30:52,901
gay man with a 16-year-old boy in my
house? What would that look like?

445
00:30:52,941 --> 00:30:55,461
He broke in. Yeah, but look at the
reaction of his dad, huh?

446
00:30:55,501 --> 00:30:59,221
Anything to do with George, you
know.

447
00:30:59,261 --> 00:31:02,901
Then I'm a groomer and a paedo
and a pervert. Oh, don't.

448
00:31:02,941 --> 00:31:05,381
That gets online, there's five
million straight men

449
00:31:05,421 --> 00:31:06,461
waiting to attack me.

450
00:31:06,501 --> 00:31:08,461
Plenty of straight women.

451
00:31:08,501 --> 00:31:10,381
What makes you say that?

452
00:31:10,421 --> 00:31:11,821
The world.

453
00:31:11,861 --> 00:31:13,261
And you know who would love
this story?

454
00:31:13,301 --> 00:31:16,381
The Licensing Unit.
Oh, the council would leap on it,

455
00:31:16,421 --> 00:31:18,501
then this place would be in trouble.

456
00:31:18,541 --> 00:31:21,221
If I go to the police,
it will only get worse.

457
00:31:23,701 --> 00:31:25,461
To be fair to little George,

458
00:31:25,501 --> 00:31:27,821
he did just want a safe place
to wank.

459
00:31:27,861 --> 00:31:29,501
Because men will do it anywhere.

460
00:31:29,541 --> 00:31:30,781
I've been studying this for years,

461
00:31:30,821 --> 00:31:33,181
it's my specialist subject.
And I have gotta tell you,

462
00:31:33,221 --> 00:31:35,981
girls, men will do it everywhere,
all day long.

463
00:31:36,021 --> 00:31:38,101
You name it,
they have spunked on it.

464
00:31:38,141 --> 00:31:41,221
Cinema seats, theatres, graveyards,

465
00:31:41,261 --> 00:31:42,901
cars. Every single car,

466
00:31:42,941 --> 00:31:45,581
they've whacked off into every
single seat.

467
00:31:45,621 --> 00:31:48,781
I used to carry a handkerchief to
wipe down seats on the bus,

468
00:31:48,821 --> 00:31:52,741
I'm now considering
a beekeeper's outfit. Aeroplanes.

469
00:31:52,781 --> 00:31:55,701
In the seats, the dirty dogs!

470
00:31:55,741 --> 00:31:57,301
Seats, toilets, cockpits.

471
00:31:57,341 --> 00:31:59,981
That's what turbulence is!

472
00:32:00,021 --> 00:32:03,421
I am telling you, they have been
fiddling away all through history.

473
00:32:03,461 --> 00:32:06,021
You ask Sir Edmund Hilary
if he tugged off on

474
00:32:06,061 --> 00:32:07,261
the top of Everest,

475
00:32:07,301 --> 00:32:08,981
and he would say, yes...

476
00:32:09,021 --> 00:32:10,781
BOTH: ..because it was there.!

477
00:32:10,821 --> 00:32:13,661
Christopher Columbus, he discovered
America so he could find a new place

478
00:32:13,701 --> 00:32:15,581
to whack it out.

479
00:32:15,621 --> 00:32:17,381
Neil Armstrong, one small step,

480
00:32:17,421 --> 00:32:19,101
one massive wank.

481
00:32:19,141 --> 00:32:21,181
And then he varnished the Moon.

482
00:32:21,221 --> 00:32:26,061
I'm telling you, two basic rules.
One, never sit down,

483
00:32:26,101 --> 00:32:28,261
and two, don't go barefoot,

484
00:32:28,301 --> 00:32:31,341
cos we are standing on
a carpet of glue,

485
00:32:31,381 --> 00:32:34,061
and if we could see life through
UV glasses,

486
00:32:34,101 --> 00:32:37,141
the whole world would look like
a melted candle.

487
00:32:37,181 --> 00:32:39,101
Ooh. Fair do's to George!

488
00:32:39,141 --> 00:32:41,461
He was maintaining a fine tradition.

489
00:32:41,501 --> 00:32:43,901
To George.
ALL: To George!

490
00:32:47,461 --> 00:32:49,741
He was round at Sammy's.

491
00:32:50,981 --> 00:32:52,781
Hiding like a chicken.

492
00:32:55,061 --> 00:32:57,781
You're supposed to be
the clever one.

493
00:32:57,821 --> 00:33:01,301
But if Leo presses charges
and you get a criminal record,

494
00:33:01,341 --> 00:33:04,861
you won't get into university.

495
00:33:04,901 --> 00:33:07,501
That's not true, actually.
Sherry from down the road,

496
00:33:07,541 --> 00:33:08,901
she got caught shoplifting,

497
00:33:08,941 --> 00:33:11,501
and now she's doing economics.

498
00:33:11,541 --> 00:33:13,541
Which is funny, if you think about
it.

499
00:33:13,581 --> 00:33:17,261
Thank you. Now, button it.

500
00:33:17,301 --> 00:33:20,221
You will go and apologise.

501
00:33:20,261 --> 00:33:22,101
You'll apologise in person,

502
00:33:22,141 --> 00:33:24,901
and I want you to write him a
letter. Fuck off!

503
00:33:24,941 --> 00:33:26,501
Don't you dare!

504
00:33:28,101 --> 00:33:31,261
You'll write a formal apology.

505
00:33:31,301 --> 00:33:33,381
Plus you can add up how much you owe
him with all

506
00:33:33,421 --> 00:33:35,741
the wine and stuff,
then double it and pay him back,

507
00:33:35,781 --> 00:33:38,061
and then...and then...

508
00:33:48,141 --> 00:33:50,701
Then you can tell us
why you did it.

509
00:33:51,821 --> 00:33:55,101
I mean, I'm not stupid, I get it,
OK?

510
00:33:56,421 --> 00:33:58,781
When I was a kid,
I had a key to my nan's,

511
00:33:58,821 --> 00:34:00,781
and I would bunk off

512
00:34:00,821 --> 00:34:03,901
and sit in her flat when she was out
on Thursday afternoons,

513
00:34:03,941 --> 00:34:06,781
and I did that for five years,
and no-one knew a thing.

514
00:34:06,821 --> 00:34:08,261
But that was family.

515
00:34:08,301 --> 00:34:10,181
He's the man next door.

516
00:34:11,501 --> 00:34:12,781
Did he ask you in? Shut up.

517
00:34:12,821 --> 00:34:14,741
He gave us his key,
didn't he? It's an open door.

518
00:34:14,781 --> 00:34:18,941
And...and you're too young to know
when you're being, like, seduced.

519
00:34:18,981 --> 00:34:20,461
Don't be so stupid!

520
00:34:21,941 --> 00:34:23,581
It's a good point.

521
00:34:26,821 --> 00:34:29,341
Cos Leo is a bit out there.

522
00:34:29,381 --> 00:34:32,981
He's a bit obvious.
And if he does call the police,

523
00:34:33,021 --> 00:34:36,141
it would be a good line
to take in court.

524
00:34:36,181 --> 00:34:39,301
He's a homosexual man choosing

525
00:34:39,341 --> 00:34:42,461
to live ten feet away from
two healthy lads.

526
00:34:43,621 --> 00:34:45,021
Two healthy...

527
00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:49,181
..sexy lads, let's say it.

528
00:34:49,221 --> 00:34:51,701
He looks at me sometimes. Does he?

529
00:34:51,741 --> 00:34:54,181
I catch him, now and then,

530
00:34:54,221 --> 00:34:57,781
eyeing me up. He can't help himself.

531
00:34:57,821 --> 00:34:59,101
Well, that could be useful.

532
00:34:59,141 --> 00:35:01,261
God, you are just idiots!

533
00:35:01,301 --> 00:35:03,981
Do you know why I went there?

534
00:35:04,021 --> 00:35:06,261
To get away from you lot!

535
00:35:06,301 --> 00:35:08,301
To get away from this house!

536
00:35:08,341 --> 00:35:10,501
To get away from you!

537
00:35:12,301 --> 00:35:13,941
Well, you're grounded.

538
00:35:13,981 --> 00:35:17,101
And don't think you can go round
to Hassan's,

539
00:35:17,141 --> 00:35:19,221
because I'm phoning his mother.
I warn you, George.

540
00:35:19,261 --> 00:35:21,021
She'll send you right back.

541
00:35:21,061 --> 00:35:22,221
Have you got that?

542
00:35:29,501 --> 00:35:30,661
I tell you what, darling,

543
00:35:30,701 --> 00:35:32,821
you'd better get your locks changed.

544
00:35:32,861 --> 00:35:35,021
Might be wise, just in case.

545
00:35:35,061 --> 00:35:38,581
Such a hassle. Oh,
God, I've got the key safe, too.

546
00:35:38,621 --> 00:35:40,381
I'll have to change everything.

547
00:35:44,301 --> 00:35:46,581
ALARM BEEPS

548
00:35:48,661 --> 00:35:50,981
BEEPING STOPS

549
00:36:51,821 --> 00:36:54,301
POP MUSIC STARTS

550
00:36:54,341 --> 00:36:56,021
MUSIC STOPS

551
00:37:29,381 --> 00:37:33,821
Do you think he went through your
things, little Georgy Porgy?

552
00:37:33,861 --> 00:37:34,941
What, like my pants?

553
00:37:34,981 --> 00:37:36,781
Mm. I would.

554
00:37:36,821 --> 00:37:38,461
Oh, God! Do you think he did?

555
00:37:38,501 --> 00:37:40,581
Why? What would he find?

556
00:38:13,181 --> 00:38:15,421
Boss, I was thinking,
did you check your computer?

557
00:38:15,461 --> 00:38:17,861
No, it's good, it's locked,
it's got a password.

558
00:38:19,061 --> 00:38:21,781
Although if I leave
the email open, it stays unlocked.

559
00:38:34,381 --> 00:38:35,621
NOTIFICATION TONE

560
00:38:53,661 --> 00:38:55,501
I'll tell you one
thing bothering me.

561
00:38:55,541 --> 00:38:57,341
That night you were texting George.

562
00:38:57,381 --> 00:38:59,541
So? I was being kind.

563
00:38:59,581 --> 00:39:00,861
Yeah, I know,

564
00:39:00,901 --> 00:39:02,221
but if his mum and dad demand

565
00:39:02,261 --> 00:39:04,501
to know everything
and George shows it to them.

566
00:39:04,541 --> 00:39:07,421
But I said nice things.

567
00:39:07,461 --> 00:39:09,781
Oh, God, I left a voice note.

568
00:39:09,821 --> 00:39:12,421
George, I swear, if you tell
your girlfriends about this,

569
00:39:12,461 --> 00:39:15,101
they will tell you that every single
stupid boy does this

570
00:39:15,141 --> 00:39:17,461
and you'll laugh about it.

571
00:39:17,501 --> 00:39:19,381
Because there's such
a big world out there,

572
00:39:19,421 --> 00:39:21,301
and you can have boyfriends
or girlfriends,

573
00:39:21,341 --> 00:39:22,821
or whatever you like.

574
00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:27,461
You can have all the wild
and crazy hot sex you want,

575
00:39:27,501 --> 00:39:30,341
night after night.
Because I promise you Geroge,

576
00:39:30,381 --> 00:39:36,101
there's a great big gay life,
just waiting for you.

577
00:39:46,941 --> 00:39:49,501
So, if I delete it,
will it delete on George's thread?

578
00:39:49,541 --> 00:39:51,821
Yes. Now, get rid of it.

579
00:39:55,581 --> 00:39:56,741
Oh, shit.

580
00:40:06,461 --> 00:40:08,581
Boss, I sent you that password
generator. It's free

581
00:40:08,621 --> 00:40:10,101
and it's brilliant. Thanks, Mikey.

582
00:40:10,141 --> 00:40:12,301
Oh, well, you weren't so helpful
this afternoon, were you?

583
00:40:12,341 --> 00:40:14,141
I was pointing out the obvious.

584
00:40:14,181 --> 00:40:16,541
What? He posted Saul's wanking video
on the group chat.

585
00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:19,141
Oh, yeah. What? Saul the other son?

586
00:40:26,501 --> 00:40:29,341
SAUL PANTS AND GASPS

587
00:40:30,381 --> 00:40:32,901
He gets it all out online.
Saul bares all.

588
00:40:32,941 --> 00:40:35,861
It's ten out of ten,
and I mean ten.

589
00:40:42,661 --> 00:40:44,021
It's not private,
it's a business,

590
00:40:44,061 --> 00:40:45,461
and he chooses to promote himself.

591
00:40:45,501 --> 00:40:48,421
It's not even up for debate.
He's your neighbour's son.

592
00:40:48,461 --> 00:40:49,461
He's 25.

593
00:40:49,501 --> 00:40:51,541
He's only 25.

594
00:40:51,581 --> 00:40:53,621
He sells it, he wants us to see.

595
00:40:53,661 --> 00:40:54,901
Is that on your phone?

596
00:40:54,941 --> 00:40:57,101
It's on everyone's.
Well, then you should delete it.

597
00:40:57,141 --> 00:40:58,661
If I end up taking Clive Goss
to court,

598
00:40:58,701 --> 00:41:01,101
the behaviour of his son could be
very good evidence.

599
00:41:01,141 --> 00:41:03,941
Leo, just don't have it anywhere.

600
00:41:03,981 --> 00:41:06,021
Come on, it's not like I fancy him

601
00:41:06,061 --> 00:41:07,941
or anything. Well, not much.

602
00:41:07,981 --> 00:41:09,701
Oh, God!

603
00:41:10,781 --> 00:41:13,221
I'll delete it. I'll delete it.

604
00:41:21,821 --> 00:41:23,541
This is what they do.
MESSAGE PINGS

605
00:41:23,581 --> 00:41:26,221
They make a link between gay men
and children...

606
00:41:26,261 --> 00:41:28,661
MESSAGE PINGS
..and that link is ineradicable.

607
00:41:28,701 --> 00:41:30,261
It cannot be removed.
MESSAGE PINGS

608
00:41:30,301 --> 00:41:32,741
And they know that, the bastards.
MESSAGE PINGS

609
00:41:32,781 --> 00:41:35,141
So, they repeat it, they shout it...
MESSAGE PINGS

610
00:41:35,181 --> 00:41:37,501
..over and over,
and louder and louder.

611
00:41:37,541 --> 00:41:39,141
Well, that's nice. Thanks, boss.

612
00:41:39,181 --> 00:41:40,621
What did we do to deserve that?

613
00:41:40,661 --> 00:41:42,021
What do you mean?

614
00:41:42,061 --> 00:41:43,621
Your message, on the group chat.

615
00:41:43,661 --> 00:41:45,141
Guilty as charged.

616
00:41:45,181 --> 00:41:46,981
That's on my CV, Mr Struthers.

617
00:41:47,021 --> 00:41:48,181
What? What's just happened?

618
00:41:48,221 --> 00:41:49,821
He's just called us all perverts.

619
00:41:49,861 --> 00:41:51,341
I didn't say that. Look.

620
00:41:51,381 --> 00:41:53,501
WHOOPS AND CHEERS
Why would I do that?

621
00:41:54,541 --> 00:41:56,501
Look, look, there's the time.
That's now.

622
00:41:56,541 --> 00:41:58,261
12 minutes past, right now.
And you saw me,

623
00:41:58,301 --> 00:41:59,741
I was sitting here.
I didn't send it.

624
00:41:59,781 --> 00:42:02,301
You must've been on dictation.
You must've pressed it by mistake.

625
00:42:02,341 --> 00:42:04,621
You did say perverts out loud.

626
00:42:04,661 --> 00:42:06,501
But it's not that bad, Melba.

627
00:42:06,541 --> 00:42:07,821
I've got this couple in Levenshulme,

628
00:42:07,861 --> 00:42:10,941
Blake and Robbie,
they've just adopted three children.

629
00:42:10,981 --> 00:42:13,221
They'd never have been able
to do that back in the day,

630
00:42:13,261 --> 00:42:15,301
so things are better.

631
00:42:36,541 --> 00:42:37,621
Ohhh!

632
00:42:37,661 --> 00:42:39,061
PHONE BUZZES

633
00:43:12,941 --> 00:43:15,861
All right, you lot,
got a surprise for you today.

634
00:43:19,061 --> 00:43:20,781
I love my job, man!

635
00:43:20,821 --> 00:43:21,901
Say hi, Molly.

636
00:43:21,941 --> 00:43:23,181
Hi!

637
00:43:23,221 --> 00:43:25,661
How hot, is she? Oh, my God!

638
00:43:25,701 --> 00:43:27,181
Here we go.

639
00:43:46,981 --> 00:43:48,781
This is for you, girls.

640
00:43:49,861 --> 00:43:51,901
And some of you fellas.

641
00:43:55,581 --> 00:43:57,141
Uhhh!

642
00:44:28,581 --> 00:44:31,781
OK, it's been a long day.

643
00:44:31,821 --> 00:44:35,221
Good luck, troops.
Keep flying the flag.

644
00:44:35,261 --> 00:44:37,621
Seriously, though, be careful.

645
00:44:37,661 --> 00:44:39,341
What now?

646
00:44:39,381 --> 00:44:41,981
Your phone! Texting a teenager!

647
00:44:42,021 --> 00:44:44,461
Oi, I didn't do anything wrong.

648
00:44:44,501 --> 00:44:47,101
There's nothing like that on
my phone, Leo.

649
00:44:47,141 --> 00:44:51,221
Sometimes I think you lot are
so full of all your freedoms,

650
00:44:51,261 --> 00:44:52,981
you don't know when to stop.

651
00:45:05,141 --> 00:45:06,741
Aghhh!

652
00:45:20,341 --> 00:45:25,221
MUSIC: Ever Fallen in Love (With
Someone You Shouldn't've) by
Buzzcocks

653
00:45:30,701 --> 00:45:33,461


654
00:45:33,501 --> 00:45:38,661

and I'm hurt

655
00:45:41,701 --> 00:45:43,981


656
00:45:44,021 --> 00:45:48,381

And that's worse...

657
00:45:58,101 --> 00:46:01,461
Is this you? Is this your lot?

658
00:46:03,661 --> 00:46:06,661
MUSIC CONTINUES FAINTLY

659
00:46:15,301 --> 00:46:18,781

Ever fallen in love?

660
00:46:18,821 --> 00:46:21,941

Ever fallen in love...

661
00:46:24,581 --> 00:46:27,581
Subtitles by Red Bee Media